Wednesday, December 24, 2008


On 21.12.08, I left South Africa for Munich, Germany.

My mission: to get an alternative opinion to my breast surgeon’s from a top German professor who specializes in breasts, Professor Marion Kiechle, as well as see someone who is famed as ‘Europe’s leading alternative cancer treatment specialist’: Lothar Heirnsie.

I saw Lothar Hiernsie first. He has a cancer treatment clinic on the outskirts of Suttagart, Germany ( I have an outline of what the clinic does in English if you would like to read it - just as on:

Lothar has studied many cases of the people who beat cancer, taken the common denominators and turned them into a cancer treatment program.

Although I had so many questions, I only had one hour with him. I have emailed my further questions to him and await his response.

Lothar looked at my biopsy results and said he never gets to see stage 0, non-invasive! His opinion was that my healing would be relatively easy.

Lothar told me about the Budwig diet (more on this diet later. I gather he studied under Dr Budwig in some way from photos online of them together), which supplements to take, to bath in soda bicarb at least 4 times per week to release acid from my tissues (as cancer thrives in acidic anaerobic body tissues), to do 2 coffee enemas per day, and do energy work/get to the source of the cancer.

Lothar said the energy work was the most important. Even the people who have not eaten the diet or taken the supplements, but who have done the energy work, have cured themselves.

I left Lothar feeling very positive and optimistic that curing without surgery would be easy.
Lothar Hirneise Land: 00 49 7151 910 220 / 222 Cell: 00 49 7151 9813-203 Im Salenhäule 10, 73630 Remshalden-Buoch

My aim was to try and implement what Lothar advocated when I got back home to South Africa.

I caught a plane back to Munich that same afternoon. On the way to my hotel, the taxi driver took a road alongside the Munich Christmas Market. The townsquare was packed with people, all dressed up warmly, drinking gluwein and eating stollen (German Christmas cake).

There were twinkling Christmas lights everywhere and German Christmas carols playing from somewhere. I rolled the car window down and inhaled the smell I associated with Christmas from childhood. It was the smell of lebkuchen (German spice cookies) and stollen that were sent each year from my dad’s family in Germany.

The atmosphere was so special! Just two nights to go until Christmas! Even though I was so tired, I checked in at my hotel and went back to the market place to take photos and film some video.

I went back there the next day for some shopping. I enjoyed a piece of stollen and a cup of gluwein (although I know this is not on the cancer regime!). The food at a German Japanese just off the market restaurant was the most live and whole I could find at the market. I so wished Glenn had been there to share it with me.

The next day, I saw Professor Marion Kiechle in Munich, Germany. She told me the same as Dr Carol Benn, South Africa - I needed to have a mastectomy. I told her I was hoping she would have said something more conservative, alternative, or just different to Carol Benn, but she just shook her head and said ‘No’.

Professor Marion Kiechle Interdisziplinarisches Brustzentrum rechts der Isar (Interdisciplinary Breast Center) Tel: +49.89.4140-2420 (secretary Mrs.Maier) Fax: +49.89.41404831 email: Ismaningerstr. 22, 81675 München They have a so called mamma board, which combines and consults the experts of 7 disciplines.

I left her office almost in tears. I wanted to be home that instant, in Glenn’s arms, but I now had to start the long trek back to South Africa.

I arrived back in South Africa on the afternoon of Christmas Eve, not having slept much on the plane again. Everyone was preparing Christmas dinner (we celebrate the German way – the night before Christmas). They welcomed me in. I had lots, and so little, to tell.

Glenn projected my video footage of the Munich Christmas Market on wall, and we sat down to open presents and enjoy a Christmas feast!


Tuesday, December 9, 2008


I have now had more time to read a bit more of Dr Andrew Weil’s book ‘Spontaneous Healing’. At the back he summerises the 7 key strategies of successful patients. Weil believes if more people adopted these strategies for all illnesses, the incidence of spontaneous healing would increase dramatically.

NOTE: Weil uses the term ‘patients’ when referring to people with an illness. I don’t like the term but will use for ease of understanding.


Successful patients have not believed doctors when they have said there is no hope. These patients keep believing that someone or something can help them, or that they can help themselves. They never give up hope and always trust their intuition regarding their body and their illness.


Search out cure and treatment possibilities. Follow up on all leads. These patients read books, searched the internet, asked friends, wrote to authors, traveled to see practitioners who seemed promising.

Doctors often label these patients as ‘difficult, noncompliant, or simply obnoxious (I may have been called all these names in my time!!). But there is a reason the more difficult patients are more likely to get better.

One patient said: ‘There are different ways of healing for different people but there is always a way. Keep searching!’


The old adage: ‘If you want to be successful, surround yourself with successful people and learn from them’. The best way to neutralize pessimism from health professional is to find someone else/others who has/ve healed themselves.

I am so high on confidence that I can heal myself until I walk into the breast surgeon, Dr Benn, rooms (and this is nothing on her). I feel this heavy, sad, panicked, passive feeling when faced with conventional medicine. I was thinking of sending Glenn to get my biopsy results on Saturday so I can keep my positivity up.


Successful patients often ally themselves with health professionals who support them in their search for answers. What you want is a health professional who believes in you, in your ability to heal yourself, someone who empowers you on your search, and who makes you feel like you are not alone/weird for searching.

Choose a health professional that will get great pleasure out of seeing you heal, whatever methods you choose.


Successful patients are not the same people they were at the start of the illness. They made significant changes in their lives; physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

While change is mostly difficult; major change can be very painful. An illness often forces us to look at issues and conflicts we hoped would just disappear. Continuing to ignore these issues may block any possibility of spontaneous healing. Willingness to change is generally a strong predictor successful healing.


Because illness is such a powerful stimulus to change, perhaps the only thing that can force some people to resolve their deepest conflicts, successful patients often come to regard their illness as the greatest opportunity they have for personal growth and development- ‘it is truly a gift’.

Seeing serious illness as a misfortune, especially one that is undeserved may obstruct the healing system. Coming to see illness as a gift that allows you to grow may unlock it.

To accept oneself, with all the imperfections, limitations, and defects that characterize every human being, represents a surrender to a higher will. Change seems more likely to occur in a climate of surrender than in a climate of confrontation with the universe.

Surrender does not mean giving up hope of recovery when ill but rather it means accepting every circumstance in your life, including the present illness, in order to move beyond them/it.

I am now focusing on acknowledging my breast cancer, loving it, and accepting it as part of me. You will have noticed that I never gave it a name, face, and only referred to it in past tense – this is one school of thought.

I love myself warts and all. I take responsibility for creating it and therefore I am able to play a part in healing myself back to balance, harmony, and wholeness.

One patient who experience spontaneous healing said:
‘The trick is to get your ego out of the way, get your concepts out the way and just let your body heal itself. It knows how to do it’.

Sunday, December 7, 2008


I am exploring traveling to Germany to visit an alternative cancer treatment clinic. I will hear more about this early next week. I need to understand their treatments and therapies, time frames for the treatments, and how long I would need to spend there before I decide.

Saturday, December 6, 2008


I got the results of the core needle biopsy that was done on Tuesday 2.12.08 back today.

The biopsy results show the lumps in my right breast tissue are in fact more DCIS and not scar tissue.

The photo on the right shows a breast duct that has been cut in half. You can see that cells have grown into the centre lumen (centre hole) of the duct.

I requested that a 3rd biopsy be done randomly at the bottom of my breast. This biopsy shows the tissue there is clear of any type of cancer.

There could, however, be non-invasive cancer in a breast duct right next to the 3rd biopsy area or there could be an invasive cancer area right next to the clear area as well. Only once the Dr Benn has all my right breast tissue out of my body and analysed, will she know for sure.

Friday, December 5, 2008


It has been a week now since I started the nutritional supplements and Chinese herbal medicines indicated for breast cancer.

I woke up today with a skin rash. It is all over my body, very itchy, red, and burning. My throat feels very itchy and slightly swollen. I have taken the homeopathic Pegasus histamine complex to treat it.

I felt very irritable and tense, with a burning sensation in my chest area for 3 days before the skin rash started which makes me think the rash is the releasing of heat out of my body. A skin rash/condition can mean the body id moving the imbalance from an important organ or place in the body to a less important organ like the skin. In alternative medicine, this is mostly seen as a good sign.

I am not sure whether the Chinese herbal medicines are releasing heat from my body as the Chinese herbal medicines release liver stagnation (the aim is to establish flow again in liver energy so my liver can excrete estrogen from my body) or whether I am just having an allergic reaction to the herbs. I have stopped taking the herbs until Monday when I will talk to the medicine company.

Thursday, December 4, 2008


(My friend Margie and her eldest son, Luke in the pic on the right)

MY 20’S:

After posting my estrogen history, and forgiving and loving the key players from my 20’s, I feel like there is nothing in my 20’s that is still holding my energy. I feel like I have this energy back in present time.


I imagined my now self, my then/younger self, and the relevant people from my 20’s around a campfire.

My younger self spoke to those people and told them how I felt at the time…I said everything in my mind that I never could tell them in person because it may have really hurt them – I did not hold anything back even though my mind was trying to tell me stop for fear of the consequences, I just went on.

Then those people told me where they were coming from at the time, why they did what they did, why they felt the way they did, etc. They were acting with the best resources they had at the time due to their own life experiences and history.

My now self then spoke to each person and expressed understanding and compassion, forgiveness and love for them. I told each one loved them. I also apologized and asked for their forgiveness.

My now self then turned to my younger self and comforted, forgave and loved my then self. I had don’t the best I could with the resources I had at the time.

I even gave myself a physical hug just to lock the feeling of compassion and comforting in. As I higged younger self, I imagined putting my younger self into the area in my breast that had (always speak in past tense!) the cancer.

I repeated to myself that I had this energy back in present time and that this felt good.

MY 30’S:
It is now time to look at my 30’s. If I think about my 30’s, I still feel animation (bodily responses) in my body when I think of certain events which means there is still unresolved energy stuck in those time zones which I need to retrieve.

I have called on my good friend Margie Doig-Gander to be a noble friend and help me. This is very scary but I know that having that energy there is a waste – I could use that energy better in present time.

Margie has known me since I was 7. We have been to 3 schools together and even changed provinences together when both our father’s were transferred in unrelated companies. Talk about being contracted to be with someone! We have had both bitter and sweet times but we have always remained friends.

(How do you know if you are contracted to someone?: Observe within yourself whether you feel an animation ( response somewhere in your body like a tight chest, nervous tummy, pains etc) when you are with or think about that person. If you do, pay close attention to that person and your interactions or your history with that person/type of person. There are learnings and growth to be gained from the relationship).

My hope is that Margie will be able to help me identify thought and behavioural patterns and the way I dealt with events that I am blind to or have forgotten.

She may also have things to say that she has never had the opportunity to get off her chest! This process is not only about me forgiving people who have wronged me, but also about asking the people who I have wronged to forgive me.

Margie has kindly set time aside on Monday although she has a nearly 4 week old baby, called Dylan. She has already called a few times telling me how she would like to structure the meeting – as per usual, Margie has taken this very seriously and risen up to the challenge. She is thinking of what she is going to say and trying to structure it like a movie script!! Margie is doing while she feeds Dylan at 2am! Margs, don’t loose sleep over it!

I expect that more and more events and people to forgive and be forgiven will crawl out of the wood work as this process intensifies. Show me your face! I want my energy back!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


A friend of mine sent me these few words which I think are lovely!:

Cancer (or any illness) is so limited: it cannot cripple love, cannot shatter hope, cannot corrode faith, cannot destroy peace, cannot kill true friendship, cannot suppress memories, cannot silence courage, cannot invade one’s soul, cannot conquer the spirit, it cannot ever steal eternal life.

Thanks Stacey.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


I went for a needle biopsy today. The results from this biopsy will not change the breast surgeon, Dr Carol Benn’s recommendation for a single or double mastectomy.

A needle biopsy should have been done before the breast duct was removed but it was not done mainly because I got involved in the process and demanded the duct be removed by a plastic surgeon so I did not have a scar.

New lumps in my right breast appeared after the breast duct was removed and this needle biopsy is to see whether they are scar tissue or cancer.

Because the tissue in my right breast shows up as hyperplastic (atypical but not yet cancerous) on ultrasound, I asked the mammographer to do a biopsy in 2 other random places in my breast, in addition to the lumpy area.

First, Dr Seider (mammographer) injected local anesthic into my right breast tissue. This burned a little as it went it. It doesn’t help that I don’t like needles! I just kept my eyes closed and looked the other way. I breathed in white light, and breathed out blackness and the burning sensation.

Secondly, to do the core needle biopsy, Dr Seider inserted a very big needle on a trigger device (see pic). The trigger function was like that of a finger pricking device. There was not pain even though the needle was enormous but the ‘click’ sound made me jump each time.

Glenn was by my side as always. As you can see, he is not looking happy. He has been so supportive and wonderful through this process. Our hearts goes out to women who have to go through this on their own (and the waiting rooms are full of them). It cannot be easy.

The needle removed a sample of tissue to be biopsied. I will have the results on Saturday when I see Dr Carol Benn again.

Carol is away from 10-28.12.08 so no surgery can happen between those dates. The soonest she can operate again is 5.1.09.

I feel emotionally and mentally well and strong. I still believe my spirit is bigger and stronger than my physical body. I know I may still have to set the date to have the mastectomy/ies done in January, but I will cross that bridge when I get there. The operation still gives me the shivers because I think it is so barbaric.

I bought Dr Weil’s book called ‘Spontaneous Healing” today. I have only had a chance to glance through it because it is school holidays, but discussion points in the book include:

Does healing mean complete disappearance of disease on a physical level?
• Is it possible to die in a healed condition?
• What is the relationship between treatment and healing?
• If I want to pursue healing, should I forgo treatment?
• How do I know when treatment is appropriate?
• If I fail to get better, is it my fault?
• Is the spontaneous remission of cancer the best example of the healing system?
• Is it possible to enhance the healing system to protect health?

I am about to read Dr Weil’s comments on these questions……

Monday, December 1, 2008


There is quite a bit of info on melatonin, our hormone that makes us sleepy. For more info, search or

Below, I am just going to include the bits of info on melatonin relevant to breast cancer because I find this quite interesting.

When I asked why melatonin is prescribed for breast cancer, I was told many people with breast cancer have irregular circadian rhythms or sleep-wake cycles.

For over 4 years now, I have had broken sleep due to being pregnant and getting up for babies through the night. Even though Grace is now 3.5yrs and Lily is nearly 2yrs, I still get up to check that they are covered up and are not cold, once or twice a night. It is now just habit!

I leave a night security light (outside light not night light for kids) on and the light shines into our room. Some nights, I get up and turn it off because it is not dark enough to sleep.

I sit and work on my computer most nights until about 10 or 11pm otherwise I never get to touch my work as the kids are always around. The screen is quite bright and maybe it inhibits the production of melatonin that occurs around this time.

Goodness knows how much I upset my circadian rhythms in my clubbing days....!!


Production of melatonin by the pineal gland in the brain is inhibited by light and permitted by darkness. For this reason melatonin has been called "the hormone of darkness" and its onset each evening is called the Dim-Light Melatonin Onset (DLMO). Secretion of melatonin as well as its level in the blood, peaks in the middle of the night, and gradually falls during the second half of the night, with normal variations in timing according to an individual's chronotype.

Until recent history, humans in temperate climates were exposed to only about six hours of daylight in the winter. In the modern world, artificial lighting reduces darkness exposure to typically eight or fewer hours per day all year round. Even low light levels inhibit melatonin production to some extent, but over-illumination can create significant reduction in melatonin production. Since it is principally blue light that suppresses melatonin, wearing glasses that block blue light in the hours before bedtime may avoid melatonin loss.

Melatonin levels at night are reduced to 50% by exposure to a low-level incandescent bulb for only 39 minutes, and it has been shown that women with the brightest bathrooms have an increased risk for breast cancer.

Reduced melatonin production has been proposed as a likely factor in the significantly higher cancer rates in night workers, and the effect of modern lighting practice, including light pollution, on endogenous melatonin has been proposed as a contributory factor to the larger overall incidence of some cancers in the developed world.