Thursday, November 27, 2008


So, after yesterdays confession session of physical world reasons as to why I think breast cancer started growing inside me, I am going to negate it all by saying that I believe that we should not try to understand God’s divine logic, or what is perceived in the physical world as chaos.

We just need to accept that there is a learning in the illness or the event, and rather focus on that.

Wednesday was a very tough day – I felt like I needed to make a decision to operate or not. Right at the end of the day, I reached a calm decision to wait until January. I want to give the world that I have come to know and believe in, energy and natural medicine, a chance to work.

I have started taking all the homeopathic, herbal, Chinese herbal, and nutritional supplements indicated for breast cancer. During this time, I will focus on issues in my internal world and God. If I still need to operate in January, then I will go ahead knowing that I have not just gone the surgeon’s route.

What swayed me was a story the breast surgeon told me about a woman of a similar age to me, who only needed a single mastectomy but had a double for safety. The surgeon received an sms a years or two later saying she had died of a heart attack. This illustrates to me how this girl had unresolved heart chakra issues that unless resolved timeously, would result in any illness in the heart zone.

When I asked the surgeon about guarantees of having both breast removed as a precaution to breast cancer recurrence, she said the cancer can come back in the breast skin or the muscle below even once all breast tissue is removed, yet another example of unresolved issues.

Can you imagine how different the world would be if we all just said this prayer each day and committed to becoming more conscious??

Print the prayer out, stick on you mirror, and and say it every day - if it feels right for you!

Here is the prayer I am saying every day to live closer to me truth and God:

Your Daily Practice – Morning

Each day is a new beginning. Your task today is to learn the practice of consciously entering your body and your day. Begin by focusing attention on your entire day from morning to evening.

Review your plans for today:

* Think about where you need to be and with who you need to be.
* Do you feel stressful about this day or do you feel comfortable?
* Do you feel prepared for today's events?
* Are you projecting fears and expectations into this day?

Your First Chakra

* Allow the truth 'All is One' to penetrate your body
* Drop your attention to the root of your spine.
* Feel yourself magnetically connected to every part of life:
o The fragrance of the earth
o The oceans and rivers
o The air
o Your family and friends
o The planet
* Identify your fears for today and pull them into your consciousness.
* Acknowledge the strength of the energetic circuitry connecting you to all life.
* Visualize that strength replacing your fears for today.
* Standing tall.

Your Second Chakra

* Allow the truth 'Honor One Another' to penetrate your body.
* Move your attention gradually up your spine to your lower back, hips and genital area.
* Feel the fire and vibrant energy of this area.
* Focus that energy toward the key areas of this chakra:
o Relationships: Who am I going to be with today?
o Work: What am I going to do today?
o Money: How do I feel about it today?
o Creativity: What am I going to create today?

Your Third Chakra

* Allow the truth 'Honor Yourself' to penetrate your body.
* Breathe deeply as you shift your attention to your solar plexus and abdominal area.
* Focus on your self-esteem and how you feel about yourself today:
o Am I feeling strong? Frightened?
o Do I need someone's approval today?
o Will I need to be courageous?
* Remind yourself of your boundaries, dignity, inherent honor, and integrity.
* Make a spiritual promise in terms of how you want to live your life today.

Your Fourth Chakra

* Allow the truth 'Love is Divine Power' to penetrate your body.
* Raise your attention up to your heart, the center of love.
* Welcome the people you're scheduled to meet today into your meditation:
o Where you feel love for them, send more, boundless love.
o For those you feel challenged to love, say the prayer , "Let me learn more about how to love them today."
* Think about who you need to forgive today; release the rage, bitterness or hurt feelings from your heart.
* Tell yourself "Forgiveness is not easy, but today I ask for one more step toward that goal."
* Release the prayer that you want to look at today through your heart and not through your fears; that you want to feel gratitude for events that do or don't happen as they should.
* Keep your attention on the right way to walk into this day, with a heart full of love.

Your Fifth Chakra

* Allow the truth 'Surrender Personal Will to Divine Will' to penetrate your body.
* Move your attention to your throat area.
* Define your needs and desires for today and let go of doing the same for others.
* Make the choice to love this day instead of fearing it.
* Envision choices that result in positive attitudes, memories, and feelings about yourself.
* Vow to express yourself honestly.

Your Sixth Chakra

* Allow 'Seek Only Truth' to penetrate your body
* Focus your attention upwards to your mind - the world behind your eyes.
* Go beyond the limits of the rational mind and accept the Divine's Plan for you.
* Prepare your mind to enter the day feeling good and not generating illusions, false truths or fears.
* For today, release old grudges, beliefs, attitudes and patterns that no longer serve you.
* Remember that everything in your life is there for a reason and to teach you truth.

Your Seventh Chakra

* Allow the truth 'Live in the Present Moment' to penetrate your body.
* Pull your attention up and out, and hold the idea 'live in present time.'
* Let go of the past and do not anticipate the future.
* During the day, practice the discipline of telling yourself, "This is all I have. This is all there is to my life right now."

Invoke this prayer:

I am committed to feeling a bond with each person I meet,
to respecting my own integrity and honor,
to living within the energy of love and compassion and returning to that energy when I don't feel it,
to making wise and blessed choices with my will,
to maintaining perceptions of wisdom and non-judgment,
to release the need to know why things happen as they do,
and not to project expectations over how I want this day to be and how I want others to be.
And finally, my last prayer, 'to trust the Divine'.
And with that I bless my day with gratitude and love.

The carcinoma in the breast duct that was removed from my right breast was estrogen-sensitive. This means that high levels of estrogen in my system stimulated the growth of the tumour cells.

I started asking myself:

* Where did this estrogen come from?
* How do I reduce or normalize my estrogen levels?

I have decide to include my estrogen history because I have had so many people say to me:
• But you have no breast cancer in your family
• But you are so young.
• But you look so healthy
• But you eat so well
• But you eat such a good diet (mostly raw vegan)
• But you don’t drink alcohol
• But you are active

What I have written below is my estrogen history. It contains events that, until now, I have not discussed with many people.

Not to long ago, people would take offence at being asked whom they were going to vote for. These days, people openly discuss their emotional and psychological wounds with each other just after they have met. Caroline Myss would call this ‘speaking your wounds’ or ‘woundology’.

By listing these events, I am speaking my wounds but it is not my intention to keep them alive by telling you. I am instead loving, forgiving and releasing them. I want to turn them into a positive by hopefully helping others.

I have moved beyond these wounds. I have this energy back in my present tense. I feel liberated writing these events down. I have a wonderful sense of freedom from the shame and judgment society associates with them.

I know that more women have had abortions than will admit. I am writing this in the hope that my story will encourage more women to openly discuss their reproductive histories, as well as become aware of the various factors that increase the risk of breast cancer.

When I meet someone who has an illness, I always want to understand how they got to that point. Their history is carried in their cell tissue (Myss: ‘Your biology carries your biography’). More about my mental and emotional history in a future blog.

Let me take you back in time as to how I think the breast cancer was created:

12/13 I started menstruating - the younger you start menstruating, the longer you will be exposed to estrogen for.

19 I went on the contraceptive injection. I was studying away from home and I had freedom for the first time! I loved the idea that there was a free medication that would suppress my menstrual cycle so I did not have to have periods! I was only on the injection for one year because I realized it was not that good for my body. I then switched to the contraceptive pill.

21 I started going to raves and probably took recreational drugs every weekend for about 3-4 years. I also drank quite heavily for a good part of my 20’s

23 I had an abortion. It was the correct decision at the time and I had few regrets about it. Having an abortion increases one’s risk of getting breast cancer by 30%! If only I had known this then but, like everyone in the their 20’s (with exception of my mom!), I thought I was invincible!

24 I went back on the contraceptive pill on and off because I did not want to be on synthetic hormones but there were not other safe options.

27 I had another abortion and then went back on the pill until 31. Again, it was the correct decision at the time, and I had few regrets. Having another abortion increased my risk of breast cancer by another 30%!

31 I fell pregnant with Grace. I breastfed her for 14 months which was a good thing for my breast ducts.

33 I fell pregnant with Lily and breastfed her for 14 months. We renovated our house thru out this pregnancy which was very stressful.


A woman’s ovaries produce active estrogen. Active estrogen causes breast cells to divide. Excess active estrogen is converted to inactive estrogen in the liver and is excreted.

But some of this active estrogen is converted into long-acting estrogen which continues to stimulate breast cells to divide. Some women’s bodies produce higher levels of long-acting estrogen which goes on stimulating breast cells to divide. This increases the risk of breast cancer by exposing breast cells to estrogen for an abnormally prolonged period of time.

If a pregnancy ends before 32 weeks, by very premature birth or induced abortion, she will have increased risk of breast cancer as she will not get the benefit of full breast maturation, but instead be left with more places for breast cancer to start. Spontaneous abortions in the first trimester do not increase breast cancer risk because they are associated with low estrogen levels.

If the liver function is impaired (eg. Thru use of alcohol, drugs or illness like hepatitis etc), the liver does not break estrogen down properly and estrogen levels start to rise in the blood stream resulting in stimulation of breast tissue growth.

For more breast cancer risk factors, see:

The fact that I am female (therefore I have more estrogen circulating in my body to start with)
+ my synthetic hormone exposure from contraceptives (results in increased estrogen exposure)
2 x induced abortions (leaves increased number of immature breast lobules & increases estrogen exposure. Also going back on the pill after both abortions increased estrogen exposure)
+ my alcohol history
+ my drug history (result in increased estrogen exposure due to impaired liver functioning)
+ my mainstream diet until 30 (result in increased estrogen exposure from meat, dairy, etc)
+ my environmental toxin exposure (result in increased estrogen exposure from plastics, pesticides, fertilizers, etc which contains pseudo-estrogens)
+ my sharp increase in stress from 29-34
+ the fact that I had my first child after 30 yrs old (results in increased estrogen exposure)
benign proliferative breast tissue (result of high estrogen exposure)
my unresolved emotional & psychological wounds (we all have are them - they are necessary for life and growth but they need to be dealt with to avoid disease in the physical body)
+ the fact that I agreed with my angel of necessity before I was born that I needed to learn about my heart chakra (energy zone in the heart area = love and forgiveness)
= higher risk of getting breast cancer.

More about my diet until 30 and my heart chakra lessons in future blogs.