Thursday, December 4, 2008

MY NOBLE FRIEND, MARGIE

(My friend Margie and her eldest son, Luke in the pic on the right)

MY 20’S:

After posting my estrogen history, and forgiving and loving the key players from my 20’s, I feel like there is nothing in my 20’s that is still holding my energy. I feel like I have this energy back in present time.


HOW DID I FORGIVE AND LOVE THEM:

I imagined my now self, my then/younger self, and the relevant people from my 20’s around a campfire.

My younger self spoke to those people and told them how I felt at the time…I said everything in my mind that I never could tell them in person because it may have really hurt them – I did not hold anything back even though my mind was trying to tell me stop for fear of the consequences, I just went on.

Then those people told me where they were coming from at the time, why they did what they did, why they felt the way they did, etc. They were acting with the best resources they had at the time due to their own life experiences and history.

My now self then spoke to each person and expressed understanding and compassion, forgiveness and love for them. I told each one loved them. I also apologized and asked for their forgiveness.

My now self then turned to my younger self and comforted, forgave and loved my then self. I had don’t the best I could with the resources I had at the time.

I even gave myself a physical hug just to lock the feeling of compassion and comforting in. As I higged younger self, I imagined putting my younger self into the area in my breast that had (always speak in past tense!) the cancer.

I repeated to myself that I had this energy back in present time and that this felt good.

MY 30’S:
It is now time to look at my 30’s. If I think about my 30’s, I still feel animation (bodily responses) in my body when I think of certain events which means there is still unresolved energy stuck in those time zones which I need to retrieve.

I have called on my good friend Margie Doig-Gander to be a noble friend and help me. This is very scary but I know that having that energy there is a waste – I could use that energy better in present time.

Margie has known me since I was 7. We have been to 3 schools together and even changed provinences together when both our father’s were transferred in unrelated companies. Talk about being contracted to be with someone! We have had both bitter and sweet times but we have always remained friends.

(How do you know if you are contracted to someone?: Observe within yourself whether you feel an animation ( response somewhere in your body like a tight chest, nervous tummy, pains etc) when you are with or think about that person. If you do, pay close attention to that person and your interactions or your history with that person/type of person. There are learnings and growth to be gained from the relationship).

My hope is that Margie will be able to help me identify thought and behavioural patterns and the way I dealt with events that I am blind to or have forgotten.

She may also have things to say that she has never had the opportunity to get off her chest! This process is not only about me forgiving people who have wronged me, but also about asking the people who I have wronged to forgive me.

Margie has kindly set time aside on Monday although she has a nearly 4 week old baby, called Dylan. She has already called a few times telling me how she would like to structure the meeting – as per usual, Margie has taken this very seriously and risen up to the challenge. She is thinking of what she is going to say and trying to structure it like a movie script!! Margie is doing while she feeds Dylan at 2am! Margs, don’t loose sleep over it!

I expect that more and more events and people to forgive and be forgiven will crawl out of the wood work as this process intensifies. Show me your face! I want my energy back!

LiveHeidi

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