Monday, January 26, 2009


After I was diagnosed with DCIS, I promised God and myself that would spend quiet time with him and myself everyday (I do not follow a religion of any kind I just believe in a higher consciousness).

Before our December holidays, I managed to stick to this daily. On holiday, I was not hard on myself if I missed a few days. I am only now getting back into the rhythm of doing it every morning.

It is hard to get up before the kids and even harder now that I have upped my melatonin dose from 3mg to 9mg. Some mornings I feel very sleepy and groggy so I do quite time at some other time in the day. Some times I only remember as I am falling asleep, and sometimes I forget totally!

I read a passage from Louise Hay (The Power is Within You - Chapter: How to Love Yourself) this morning.

Louise says sometimes we develop a physical illness to fulfill unmet needs. Sometimes, people with cancer or a terminal illness, battle to say 'NO' to people or situations. They then 'create' a physical illness to say 'NO' for them. I don't have to believe this but I can entertain it for a few moments.

Louise says to ask oneself:

What is the pay off from this experience?
What am I getting that is positive?

I am getting/learning is:
  • to listen to myself - what is my body, heart, mind, high intention trying to tell me?
  • to take time for Heidi - When I am tired I rest. When I am hungry I eat (and only what my body needs!) etc.
  • to change the negative phrases I used to have on repeat in my brain to positive ones - they can only help me! I start the day by being thankful for everything, next saying that 'This is going to be the best day ever!!', next setting my intention for how I would like to deal with myself, others and situations in the day. At first this felt weird but I soon got into it.
  • to laugh at things more and to see the light and positive side of everything. This take only about 5-10 mins.
  • to live in the moment - it is all I have.
  • to respect I do myself.
  • to love everyone I do myself.
  • to be grateful for everything before I try to start my list of moans. I have so much! I always start with 'Thank you that I am just alive....'
  • that I am am more that just my physical body. I have discovered where my authentic power lies: inside, my spirit!
  • to accept compassion. I have to understand what it is to receive compassion first before I can fully give it.
  • to stand in someone else's shoes and realise I am not not alone nor am I special.
  • a desire to want to help others in a similar situation or to play a part in helping people prevent breast cancer.
I hope you have the BEST DAY EVER today!!

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