Wednesday, January 7, 2009
I went to see Jimmy Kyriacou today. Jimmy taught me my NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) practitioner’s qualification and is wonderfully wise. As this is my month for consulting with the wise men, I thought it best to start with Jimmy!
I went to Jimmy because I want to break certain outdated thought patterns that are on repeat in my mind that don’t serve me any longer on my quest for healing, as well as resolve certain conflicts within me.
‘NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a name that encompasses three influential components involved in producing human experience: neurology, language and programming:
• The neurological system regulates how the body functions,
• Language determines how individuals interface and
• Communicate with other people and a person’s programming determines the kinds of models of the world they create.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming describes the fundamental dynamics between mind (neuro) and language (linguistic) and how their interplay effects the body and behavior (programming).
The basic premise of NLP is that; the words we use reflect an inner, subconscious perception of our problems. If these words and perceptions are inaccurate, as long as we continue to use them and to think of them, the underlying problem will persist. In other words, our attitudes are, in a sense, a self-fulfilling prophecy.’
I told Jimmy I was starting to feel like Joan of Arc. Can I really heal myself? Are these visions I am having of healing without surgery really real? I need to remember that I want to survive for my family and myself. My head is aching daily from all these conflicting thoughts!
One the one hand, I really want to heal myself naturally so I don’t need surgery (which I feel is so barbaric) and so my prognosis in years to come is better. I know people have done this so it is possible. I feel that I have studied so many natural/alternatives therapies and this is the opportunity to put them into action.
On the other hand, I wonder whether surgery is inevitable, and the natural healing protocols continue long after the surgery to prevent recurrence (I don’t see surgery as a cure, it just postpones having to deal with the issues causing the cancer). Am I supposed to have the surgery, and in the process realise and loose the hold the physical world has on me? Is it supposed to turn my eyes inward into the world that really matters, that knows that the physical world is only an illusion.
Jimmy asked me to imagine my 2 conflicting viewpoints on different hands. He asked me to step back from both viewpoints and imagine that I am the observer who is not attached to either viewpoint but rather that I have the option to choose the best bits from both. Basic conflict resolution techniques! (There was more imagery associated with each hand that is extraneous to this description of what happened – maybe more in a subsequent blog where it is more appropriate).
Jimmy then asked me to imagine a bridge extending from one hand to the other, and asked me what the one hand could offer the other that was positive, and visa versa. At first they did not want to talk but Jimmy kept pressing them to only focus on the positive. Eventually, what was distilled, was that both hands/viewpoints wanted my survival most, even though they still disagreed.
The part of me that does not want to have surgery, felt like a little child, stomping with arms folded and bottom lip pouted. It did not want to give in. I, the observer, just acknowledged, loved it and accepted that it was just trying to protect me.
Jimmy then ask me to imagine myself 5 years from now. I saw myself at the end of a race, having won the gold medal (I know winning a race appeals to my Olympian archetype which is why the image of a race came up – more about this in a subsequent blog). It felt good to feel so good! I was shouting ‘I DID IT!!’ and everyone around me, who had supported me, was cheering.
He then asked me to imagine that 5-year-older Heidi walking back to the present. He asked me what advice she would give my present Heidi. I opened my eyes in amazement and said:
'It does not matter whether or not I have surgery. I want to be alive for myself and for my family.' I felt such peace!
Although my sulking little inner child was less pronounced, she was still there, and the arguing is back, with the new knowledge that my survival is most important to both arguments.
Next week we go deeper......