Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I went to see David Arthur (intuitive) again today. He suggested I see the movie 'August Rush' so I did tonight.

The little boy in the movie is an orphan. David confirmed that I have the orphan child archetype - I have never felt like I fit in anywhere. An anomaly of sorts. Always the black sheep. While growing up, this was scary and lonely. But now, I realise it's value. I don't have to take on or consider any tribal beliefs or traditions. I can just be me.

I cried at all parent/child moments of the movie. It has been so long since I just cried. A few months back, even though I wanted to cry, I just could not. Since my diagnosis, I have been crying more and that feels good. I feel alive again. I feel like Heidi again in the strangest way.

David also confirmed I don't have the mother archetype. I felt such relief. I can now get on with just loving and guiding the souls who chose me, without needing them for my own needs.

After the movie, I went into my kids bedroom where they were sleeping. I just held them and cried. I am so blessed to have them in my life. They teach me so much. Grace reminds me to be real and honest with myself. Lily reminds me to connect with my emotions.

Taking away the pressure of being the 'mother', and the perfect mother, I can just love them. I am so honoured to have been entrusted to guide them through this life. I will rise up to this. I won't waste a moment. I will be present with them.