Sunday, February 1, 2009


We moved house this weekend. We are about to complete our house renovation. We have done this in 2 stages because we had our daughter, Lily, half way through the last renovation.

I still can't believe we had to move but feel such relief that I have left the house that caused me so much stress over the last 4 years. I feel very unburdened!! It is a great way to go into the last 2 weeks before my mastectomy.

The house we are renting is brand new so it is clean, bright, and has a wonderful energy. I am glad we moved before my op.

Lily, who will be 2 yrs old in 2 weeks time, was a bit overwhelmed with all the change. We moved her from her cot into a bed tonight. Lily went to sleep after much crying but then woke after a short while.

I went upstairs to comfort her, and while I was holding her in my arms, she pulled on my pajamas and my left breast was exposed. The position reminded me of when I used to breast feed my daughters in the dark.

I just sat there and looked at my breast and nipple, and knew that on 2 weeks time, my breasts and nipples as I have come to know them, would be gone. I gave them gratitude for all they had done for me over the last 35 years. I felt very grateful that I had the opportunity to breast feed both my girls.

I also sent out heart felt compassion to all the women who got breast cancer and who never got not had the chance to breast feed.