Monday, February 16, 2009
This is my last week before surgery on Monday 23.2.09. I am taking this week very easy.
I have seen as many friends as possible for tea, played with my children as much as possible, and just tried to relax in general.
I have not booked any practitioner appointments except with the anesthetist whom I have to see prior to surgery.
I have stopped all treatments and supplements in case of any interactions with the allopathic medicine I will be given during and post surgery.
Oh, but I have snuck in a colon cleanse/irrigation on Friday as I have been having backache in the region of my transverse colon with slow-ish bowel movements. This could be a combination of nerves and trying to eat less fruit because it contains sugar which could feed the cancer (explained in a previous blog entry).
It feels quite weird counting down the days until I won’t have my real breasts, nipples, or much feeling in my breasts anymore.
When I start to feel like I should be wearing boob tube tops or walking round the house topless, I remind myself that life goes on. I don’t need now to radically change my behaviour to include something I don't normally do.
I feel that I have mourned the impending loss of my breasts adequately leading up to now. I now feel calm and happy. I may still cry once a week or so but the intense grieving is mostly over and if I cry now, it is mostly to relieve the stress as well as for joy and my blessings.
I feel so happy and it feels weird to feel this happy. I feel light, positive and rearing to start the next phase of my life with all my new learnings.