Tuesday, February 17, 2009

NO SURGERY DONE TODAY



I did not have surgery today for 2 reasons:
  1. Because my right breast was still quite swollen from injecting the soda bicarbonate into it (detailed in a previous blog). Dr Carol Benn said she could not operate on a breast that was that swollen so I would have to wait a week and thus I could have the date I wanted ie. surgery in the 2nd half of my cycle.
  2. I wanted to have surgery in the 2nd half my menstrual cycle to lessen the chance of recurrence of breast cancer (detailed in a previous blog).
Thank you to everyone who remembered the first surgery date of the 17.2.09 and sent their well wishes. And a special thanks to Henriette for the BEAUTIFUL flowers!!

SURGERY IS NOW BOOKED FOR MONDAY 23.2.09.
Operation at 2pm but will be admitted at 8am.

DECONSTRUCTION OF THE LILYPAD (OUR HOUSE)



As I am in the process of self deconstruction pre-breast reconstruction, the builders moved on site today and started a parallel process in our house.

We lived in the house during the renovation and I was pregnant with our second child, Lily for the duration.

I remember the day we drove to the hospital for Lily's birth, there were builders lining our driveway just staring at me!

I then had to stay at granny's house for the first 5 days after Lily's birth as the builders were still not finished and there was dust in every part of the house.

I was so exhausted by the whole building process and now had a new baby to deal, with no pause between.

I believe the first half of our renovation contributed much to the development of my breast cancer. It was so stressful and I gave it my all.

I mothered the project and felt like I 'birthed' the renovation/house in a strange way.

The sadness and frustration that our house was incomplete got swept under the carpet because Lily was more important.

This time round we have a fantastic architect (last renovation I was the architect and the architect was essentially a drafts man). She gets as stressed out as I did first time round and she project manages like I did.

All I keep saying is that I am so glad we moved out! I walked away after out first site meeting feeling calm and detached, knowing that someone else, whom I trust, is being me. I can let her buffer the stress.

I feel like I am in a parallel universe to the last 4 years, one that I have helped create just the way I want it. This universe is wonderful and I am worth enough to detach a bit. My ego is also less caught up in a house.

I am free to get on with what I am really passionate about and that feels good!

LiveHeidi

Loading...